the world has turned and left me here

In an attempt to bring her second knee up to her chest and hug it (because she seriously needed a hug but nobody was around) she slammed the top of her knee on the bottom of her desk.

That sudden surge of pain shot through her body.

Moments ago, upon picking up and folding a shirt, she had smacked her elbow against a piece of her door frame that jutted out more than the rest of it.

A distant memory-voice in the back of her head began, the voice of a babysitter she had when she was young. Or young-er it said:
"My mom used to say if you hurt yourself a few times in a row it's because somebody, somewhere is saying bad things about you."

A Rolodex of everybody she knew flashed through her brain as she told them all to fuck themselves. Then one of those horrible self pitying "what a painful inconvenience" noises rose from deep inside of her, where the stronger and potentially longer-lasting pain went to sleep. She turned away from her desk and her eyes fell to the floor.

Then, slowly, so did her body.

Sometimes when she would be taking the subway home, or walking around her neighborhood she'd see people who look like they were just about to collapse on the ground. Like there was one thread responsible for their entire body and if you just pulled it a little bit they would completely unravel into a pool on the floor.

She lay on the floor for a minute, motionless, tracing the thread as it lead from the top of her knee cap, down her shin and disappeared somewhere near her radiator.

Inside of her, another thread snapped, potentially with a silent, minuscule crack of the piece of coal that had been house sitting for her heart for the past few months. Somewhere in the black, cold substance maybe a tiny spark had exploded. The pressures that had been oozing her breath out of her lungs in painful steady strides turned the spark into diamonds. Shards of mineral ripped at the bottom of her eyelids and over flowed, scraping themselves down her face.

she was now crying while Weezer blared out of her speakers, folded over on her floor.

Pathetic.