Of One girl's very Sick Christmas...

Now when I say sick I don't mean it in the hip-hoppers slang way like "Yo that move was sick" or whatever kids these days are saying.

I mean like I just sneezed and a 7 pound garden slug made entirely of mucus fell out of my nose. That sick. I also ate my last advent calender choco and it tasted like NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. So tonight's feast is going to be a shit load of taste. NOT. But I have some presents to deliver... I made really cool covers for some friend's who I burnt CDs for... I want to take a picture but I can't, really so you'll just have to trust me on this one.

In spirit of the Holiday I'm going to leave you with this because I can't really breathe right now and I'd just like to go blow my nose please.



Additionally, I love posting youtube videos to my blog because I can change the color of the bottom... that's like a little christmas present for me, all year round baby.

Cold, Cold Water...

Now I suffer for your hungry eye, oh why must it see more than mine?
It's a light you're after, cause light moves faster..

But when I ride again into the night
my torch will shoot flames strong and bright
and my absence will remind you of
how tough it is to be in love..

Employment. Bam.

Oh man is it nice to not have to bitch about unemployment and have to dig through Cragislist every day and suck a bunch of dick for a change to work. Damnit.

I am seasonally employed by Aerie, American Eagle's lingere sister store. I know a shit load about bras now, let me tell you. It seems like a decent place. Seasonal employment hath become my life, that's for sure. Still though, this way I can buy christmas presents and make back the money for drumset partay!

I have my 2nd orientation tomorrow... what's weird about the store is that they call all their bras by women's names like Paige and Emma and Isabel.. and then refer to them as people "She fits like...." "Her straps are adjustable..." It's going to give me some identity complex that's for sure. I met a girl named Emma tonight and just pictured her as a bra with big air puffy pads in her... perhaps lungs, PERHAPS THE PADS ARE THE LUNGS OF THE BRA!!

what am i talking aboot.

I just got back from a pretty decent show at the Boat and a really cool free one across the street. Shows. I love 'em. These guys reminded me of Japanther as they had a Bass and drums only way less poppy. The one girl on bass KILLED IT. She was incredible. I can't remember their names but I want to play a show with them...

Speaking of bands Yasmin & I have decided upon a name for ours

"The 1730 Cat Massacres"

I might be able to swing using the ol' garage for a practice a week. Stoked. I'm also

considering going back to high school to take Chem, Bio & Calculus and maybe apply for UofT for Zoology...... considering it.... I would love that.

Of Shit hitting thy fan...

"The shit hit the fan" is a popular phrase used to describe messy situations... Such as your neighbour uncovering the makeshift Indian burial ground you've been using to hide the corpses of your neighborhood's house pets... which you have eaten in sacrifice to your warrior god. That would be a good example of shit hitting the fan. Or, to make matters short, anything that ends in public nudity and/or armed enforcement.

"In an average person's life shit will hit the fan approximately 35 times" claims a Biologist I have tied up in my basement. "For instance, the day you kidnapped me. By the way could you pass me a cookie?"

I didn't pass him a cookie. R. Kelly's masterpiece Trapped in the Closet is a marvelous achievement in "Shit Hitting the Fan History"


up there with Wasn't Me! by extremely popular one-hit wonder, Shaggy.

Granted, These are all in the context of R&B celebs caught cheatin' on their "boo". In most situations, shit hitting the fan is much more serious and leads to way more repercussions then "not hittin' that fine ass ever again".

To say the least, I'm not sure if, in my current pickle, the shit has hit the fan yet. Which usually means its nowhere even close but definitley accumulating in god's colon. When the shit hits the fan YOU WILL KNOW. Believe me.

Of Baby Grenades and Ace of Spades..

So it's 5am and i 5AM REALLY TIRED. haha get it that's why it's called the 'am': for bad jokes.

I'm growing increasingly discouraged about the job search.. Nobody wants to give me the time of day for even an interview, and I've had so many awkward moments walking in to stores and being like "hello, couldn't help but notice your Help Wanted sign!" and they're like "Yeah, we put it there because we want help..." and I'm like "......I'm helpful" and they're like "Well then you'd need a resume." And I'm like "Yeah. I have one right here." and then they're like "Oh great. Part Time or full time?" and I'm like "Either or (IJUSTWANTAFUCKINGJOB) I have a pretty open schedule." and Then they're all like "Ok great........" and I stand there smiling like a shit eating assdick thinking (Maybe you should say something) But I can't because it's like, what the fuck give me a job that isn't fast food please.

But more searching tomorrow.

I just wanted to write down a dream I had this morning where I had a baby and it was tiny and adorable and I loved it dearly but couldn't remember what I named it... so my whole family was like wow... way to not remember the name of your fucking child. Andrew bought it baby punk clothes and a Pink Floyd patch which I thought was really cute. At the end of the dream I got into a van with my "Superstar Action Hero friend" (Doesn't exist) who was like "Oh man we're filming, quick improv your child!" so I picked her up and was like "BABY GRENADE!" which is an amazing band name and woke up.

It was one of these dreams I have where I feel like I've been in this alternate universe before... like all my dream's settings are completely different yet so similar. I woke up half relieved that I don't have a baby and half wondering where she/he went... and I had some strange attachment to it... it was a really weird feeling, cause I was so convinced.

Anyway... it forsee/symbolized some interesting points. I wonder...
I am so tired now I cant even breathe. More resumes tomorrow, I'm considering getting wasted before I go in and shitting everywhere. I hate life. But good luck to Matt, please, world. Pleaseeeee.

Of drinks and sinks and shut up...

Shut up... omggg shuttt up! No way! No way!

Saturday went really well. With the exception of finding out what "Double vision" is for the first time..... shit. And of course having a few friends finding themselves in dramatic and stupid situations which is never fun. Annnd the mic blowing out for the first band's set but we fixed that thank baby jezzus.

I have a funny feeling this photo really explains it all:



"Impailing all of Gabie's friend's intestines? Don't mind if I do" - Texas Mickey

Good times though. Really. I am stoked for Friday cause I'm going to see King Khan and the BBQ's. It's already December 1st which is sooooo fucked up & I need a metropass!

like a true nature's child we were born, born to be wild... boooornnn to be wiiillddd

Of flesh and doom...

"Through the storms and the light, baby you stood by my side and life is wine... but there are days in this life when you see the teeth marks of time two lovers divide. Sound meets sound, babe her echoes they surround.. and all that we need is one thing, now what is there to allow?

Babe it's time we gave something new a try,
though alone we may fight
just let us be three tonight."

deny you and be doomed... though i might hate you forever. Should I meet the devil I don't know? He could not even be the devil... fucked if I know.

I'm excited for Saturday. This Blog is going nowhere and I bought a new hat. I need a job. Now. It's 6am and I'm supposed to get up at 10... if I ever fall asleep I hope I don't wake up till Saturday. And then I hope I don't wake up till... St.. Patricks Day? I have good Christmas present ideas for everyone... it's swine flu. SURPRISE!!!


This photo looks terrible in Low-res. Hat looks good though. COME OUT ON SATURDAY!

tomorrow belongs to me...

Sigh diddle diddle
a cat and a cripple
dreams of jumping over lagoons
the little man laughed (for he was too short)
and gabie made out with the moon.

Renegade Warehouse (Dufferin & Queen) $3 drinks, $10 entry 4 independent films and one bad ass fucking night. Come support independent cinema. It will be fun. Lots of fun.

Eye Candy...

Aha. I did a russian gypsy card reading on myself last night. Got a lot of very strange predictions and advice. One made me really fucking angry. I got the Owl Card facing away from me and apparently that means that my plans will not materialize... in the description it said "This includes job interviews" and I have an internship interview on Friday! So fuck. Seriously, fuck.

This blog is supposed to be about photos not gay ass gypsy readings. So here we go. These were taken around the city at random times, I call them eye candy.

Of Kings and Khans...

I saw King Khan & BBQ at Lee's Palace at NXNE last year. I actually went to see No Age but only caught their last song-- I also had a brief conversation with Jason Schwartzman outside, which made me incredibly giddy and horny, but that's a story for another day. King Khan was a total special guest and pleasant surprise. They are very down to earth and awesome.



If you ever want to get your freak right the fuck on-- check them out sometime. Like right now maybe.Or December 4th touring for their new album "Invisible Girl"

Of Ketchup... and bitches...

Yeah, some skanky ho splattered ketchup on myself, Yasmin, Dana and Erica tonight on college. it was a fighty night. Boys got into fights outside because guys have this inate sexual tension between one another and grappling on the ground is the closest they can get to sucking each other's dick and taking it up the ass as possible.

Meanwhile, some random girl was going on about how Yasmin had a problem with her friend. People have this misconception about Yasmin, because one of her eyes is bigger than the other and it gives her this snarky look 24/7... it's cute, but girls are clearly jealous. So this girl is like "wtf?" and Yasmin decided to tell her that she did for some reason. And the girl was like well why? and Yasmin was all "I don't know... well you kind of have an annoying face." and then the girl was all "NICE FAT BODY" and yasmin was all "oOOOoOOoOo!!!! good one!" The girl walked away, and then there was ketchup ALL over Yasmin's face and my head and dana's head and Erica's head. It was funny. But also really lame.

I wish I had ran after her, pryed her mouth open and filled it with an entire bottle of mustard. Then I would have liked to have punched her until she bled profusely... think about it, she'd be covered in mustard and BLEEDING. PROFUSELY. Point being... karma sucks... I've instigated 2 verbal girly battles against skanky hos in the past two days... so this is like the skanky ho revolution.

Word to the skank hos: Don't fuck with us. Because we're crazy. Like actually kind of really insane. Like you know, when you sit on a bus wondering what your brains would look like all that blonde hair? Or cutting off your tits to see if they're filled with plastic, frying your nipples and serving them to my dog?


.....oh my god.

Of Alcoholic Hedgehogs...

Halloween was kick-ass. I was retardedly drunk by the end of the night broke my camera, lost my flask/candy/ears/gloves, took my top off at a party (not the kind of girl to do that. sort of still in disbelief that i actually did that), and left my boyfriend stranded at my appartment building at 4am while i Passed out cold... leading him to believe I had been raped or killed.

But seriously! Great night! Goin' Steady puts on a wicked tricky Halloween Party. So many great costumes. Damn. I have a bunch of photos but I am waiting on my card reader still. And then I will post them ALL because I have photos of the best ones. I visited Soy Bomb's Halloween Loft Party which was where I caused the most damage to my...face..... and camera... the photos will explain a lot I hope. Still missin some info from that night :\

I have so many plans for next year!

Meanwhile, I have some confusions about my university application. Ryerson is fucking with my mind. The course I want to apply to exists on the website... but not... on the application? Confusion. Ryerson, not a good first impressy. That's right impressy! Last night I had no ideas for anything and now I am pregnant with them, as a good friend would say.

I sort of wanna keep my blue hair. Nobody got my costume. Like literally nobody. But way worth it. I wish I had been less drunk. Would've ran EVERYWHERE and taken more photos. Oh well.

We also have a SWEET PARTY coming up on the 28th! including musical geniuses: Big Crimes, Germans, and Jesse Futerman will be sharing his gift(s) at RENOGADE. A sweet new venue. Also Jacobean's birthday-after-day. I would lend him my unicorn for the day but he would probably shit on it by accident.

See? November isn't that bad... just keep... telling me that.

Halloween Tree(at)

For your viewing pleasure: Scans from a first edition of The Halloween Tree. Written by Ray Bradbury and Illustrated by Joseph Mugnaini. It's really the only and best Halloween story ever written. The movie will be playing on the Family Channel (51) on Halloween if you wanna check it out. After all this time, Family Channel still puts on the best Halloween shows. Seriously.







So excited.

Random People on the Subway #1

Ok! So I'm going to do a little number every so often (when appropriate) about random people on public transit. I can either meet them, see them, overhear a piece of their conversation or observe something they're doing that I feel in all my good judgment is worthy of my/your interest.

Today on the subway I noticed four guys. One was looking at a page of his passport and his friend started pulling up his shirt and reaching into a little pouch I guess he had... fastened... to his torso... under his shirt. It tripped me out because where from I was sitting it looked like he was zipping open his stomach and taking something out. But, because I'm not a complete idiot I gathered there was something more to the story.

The guy took out his passport as well, they were reading over their visa's (possibly forged). Turns it out they were from Mexico. (Gathered this from the word MEXICO on their passports..) I still can't decide if they've immigrated or they're just visiting. They spoke fluent Spanish and didn't say a word of English the entire 2 minutes I turned down my music to eavesdrop. They all had copies of the day's Metro, but were literally just skimming over it... looking at the pictures maybe? ( I gathered this with my stealthy and decently creepy forced eye-contact method). I thought it was sort of cute that they were reading the Metro, like they were trying to get to know the city or something. It's something I'd do in Mexico.. which is sort of funny because earlier I had been toying with the idea of taking a Spanish course while also thinking "when the fuck am I going to have to speak Spanish?"

Also, one of them smelled like strongly of pina coladas. It was incredible.

La creatura bella azure vestita..

So my hair has been blue for about a week now. A lot of my friends-- who think they're pretty funny have been pulling out the "Smurf" card. Which is ridiculous, Smurfette is a blonde. According to that logic, We should call blondes smurfs... a dude asked if my bush was blue.. it gave me some cRaAZyYy ideas.

I've also received a number of compliments and old men attempting to show their appreciation in really lame jokes... such as a bus driver the other day who said "So, I guess you went to the hairdresser and got the blues?" I didn't know what to say to that so I responded 'Yeah, pretty much.' Old men are funny. He probably had blue hair once. PUBIC HAIR THAT IS.

What I really love about having blue hair is the deep color of it... its so tasty everytime I look at myself I want to eat it. A piece fell out during class and I had to pick it up and stare at it intensely for a long period of time. It's really way cooler than your hair. I recommend you try dying your hair your favorite color, it's sort of really awesome.

I realize it won't last forever... like all good things it will eventually turn green. But I'm loving it. Really.

The zombie walk was on Saturday and was terribly cool. I went as a grandma with knitting needles sticking through my wig, strangled with red yarn. Yep. Classic times. Biggest yet.

Of Costumes and my feet...

I just got home from my first shift at the Amazing Costume & Party Warehouse out at Islington and Evans. First of all I had a really good time... it was exhausting, and whenever I close my eyes I see costumes and my nose is filled with the smell of nylon and plastic, but I loved it no less. Halloween rules. But...

If I see any girl in that fucking stupid "Mile High" dress on Halloween, I am going to fucking stab her. I'm sorry... it's hot, it is... but I got in a fight with the box that it was in at least six times.. and almost every single girl that came in there asked for it. So it was an epic struggle every time and it's not original at all.. sorry ladies.

Most of those costumes are pretty dumb though. We have at least 7 different types of naughty nurses. Why would you want to be a nurse or a flight attendant for Halloween anyway? It's the one night to be anything you want in the world and it's like "Um...a naughty hot dog vendor!" "A naughty... gym...teacher?" I wish my gym teacher was a sexy blonde in tight shorts. She wasn't though. And you're probably in university learning how to be a graphic designer, you don't want to be a gym teacher/navy seal/flight attendant. If it wasn't a slutty outfit you'd just be a dyke in baggy pants and a Terry Fox T-shirt from 2004. Are you that easy to please!

I got one couple pilot/flight attendant costumes and pictured them walking into a party and being like yep.... we spent money on this. So sad. Make it scary! or funny! or just cool. Don't spend $75 dollars on a skimpy dress. You could just go be a flight attendant with that money. Or a prostitute.

I can't believe nobody bought the Lion Tamer outfit. WHEN ELSE COULD YOU EVER ACTUALLY BE A LION TAMER?

No seriously. My feet hurt.

Bienvenue ! Velkommen !

So, Life is disappointing? In here, Life is beautiful! The girls, are beautiful... even ze orchestra is beautiful!

Disclaimer: Blog will not hold responsibility for misleading readers into believing blog will include sexy show girls, cross dressing trombone players, small MC's or choreographed dances.

...well...there may be some dancing.